Hi. I'm sure you have come across other personal pages and may be asking what the difference between mine and any other is. The difference is the way I tell the love story, they way I share my opinions, the way I view the world, the way I phrase my words. I can not gurantee that my story, or that my life, will catch your interest; but what I can tell you is that I have a purpose. I want to tell my story so that others can relate, laugh, or reflect on what I say. I want to let the truth be known in one of the few ways I can express myself. So here it is, another journey through a girl's mind.
Subscribe, but do not bind yourself to my reality. If you relate to what I am saying, please remember that I myself am learning and that my methods of handling a situation may not be the right one, or the right one for you.
|Posted by Salunete on October 26, 2013 at 11:45 AM||comments (0)|
I hang off a grape vine.
Inside I carry my seeds.
Throughout my life I will take the form of a raisin,
Sometimes I will remain a grape.
I am berry goodness.
Wherever I am present--
I once hung off a grape vine and so I am, and will always be,
the essence of a grape.
The essence of a grape that is ready to be
A ready berry.
A readily abled berry
|Posted by Salunete on October 21, 2013 at 10:20 AM||comments (0)|
Do this exercise daily: The me who is (state a action) is the me who will be with me when (state a pos/neg result of the action)
|Posted by Salunete on September 5, 2013 at 12:55 AM||comments (0)|
Since when have I lived for someone else? I live to be happy, so does that mean taking on a religion, taking on a steady job, being with someone who I am falling for? Is this living? My definition of living is growing and developing and being happy. So I guess this is living. Are there other ways to live, yes. Are there other ways to be happy, probably. But this works for me. This is what I want. I can fight in the end, that this is so stereotypical of a person to want, or that I should be different, that there must be something else. I can keep on looking, but what am I gaining but heartache and stress in ignoring my natural emotions. I'm growing and being myself around the things I love, the people I love, and the people I am growing to love. So don't live for someone else, do you, but do you with someone else. Adding on to your life is not a problem. Today I will see what happens if I eliminate "what if" from my vocabulary, instead I will do and slowly work towards enjoying what is. Let me start out here, and see where things go.
|Posted by Salunete on September 4, 2013 at 1:00 PM||comments (0)|
Who knows? Just do something.
|Posted by Salunete on August 18, 2013 at 12:10 AM||comments (0)|
So, I made changes in my life so that I would get myself out of a situation in which I was constantly feeling sad; now I am always sad. I can not regret making the change being as I am now giving myself the opportunity to one day be happy more often then I was initially. As I strive to better myself I really hope it does not turn out to be that I can only chose to be happy now or later.
I'm going to make a change in myself so that I can try and make it so that I am happy often; now, if I fail and it turns out that I am never happy I technically have not taken any steps backwards...Can I be happy with a half empty glass or can I only be happy with a glass that is half full? Right now I crave for a full glass to quench my emptiness. Maybe I should just be happy that I have a glass with water.
|Posted by Salunete on July 15, 2013 at 12:40 AM||comments (0)|
Don't teach kids to wish for things, teach them to work hard towards their dreams, to get back up when they fall, to cope with their mistakes, to have a good heart, to be happy and spread happiness. Remind them they are human and that's it's ok to feel, that crying and fear are not a weakness. Allow them to learn and not accept blindly. Plant your seed, tend to it, and hope it grows.
|Posted by Salunete on July 13, 2013 at 11:20 AM||comments (0)|
"I don't know how you want to address this. I would honestly be real with him, even if it comes out with anger. Tell him after all these years you at least deserve an explanation. And if he is still stubborn, know that you do not deserve this and maybe you should focus on being happy without him. Even though it is hard. I want you to understand that we can not control people and if they hurt us sometimes we just have to do what is best for us."
|Posted by Salunete on July 11, 2013 at 12:30 AM||comments (0)|
Found Inspiration today in this poem written by a friend of mind.
Be the black gold of the sun,
The golden yolk of the moon-
Turn the tide in the face of doom.
Be a comet on the run,
Embody a monsoon-
An embryo of fusion,
Radiate this worldly womb.
Eclipse the profusion of what your doubts may presume.
- Joseph Piaubert (2013) - Future Doctor
|Posted by Salunete on February 22, 2013 at 10:05 PM||comments (0)|
I was bullied in elementary school and for most of middle school. These experiences toughened me up, but left many scars that have yet to heal. I am blessed to have gone to such an accepting high school which helped reinforce the strong and confident individual who continues to be molded by the world. Now, as an "adult", Im tired of seeing people being stigmatized for their beliefs (whether it be religious or not), for their sexual preferences, for the color of their hair, their age, grades, income, and anything thats DIFFERENT. You don't need to agree with someone's way of being, you don't even have to like their choices, but respect them. Maybe if you stop to put yourself in someone else's shoes, you'll begin to understand. Differences always will exist, don't you realize that!!! Now I'm not saying we all should be frolicking around singing kumbaya (even though I would highly enjoy that), but can't you see that putting down another individual is not the answer? LESS HATRED MORE LOVE.
|Posted by Salunete on August 2, 2012 at 11:45 AM||comments (0)|
Walking out on a relationship is never the right answer. This is something I had to learn the hard way. I've had relationships where I put in effort for the both of us, relationships where though they were grateful of my actions, they would only respond as a result of me initiating a conversation or of me asking to spend time with them. Wether it was with a friend, my ex- boyfriend, or a family member, there came a stage where only one person in the relationship was giving, I can guarantee you it was always me. Eventually I reached a point where I felt as if I was holding on and decided that I would let them fade away.
After more than a handful of occurrences in which I struggled to hold on, I tired of the same painful routine. In order to cope with the pain of chasing those I cared about and then having them walk out on me (though a few did come back on their own) my coping mechanism became me walking out in fear of being hurt. I walked out assuming they would follow, but thinking that if they did not I had had a good reason to. I stopped reaching out, at first not wanting to "bother" them or push them away. I wondered if they would even care and eventually proved to myself that they did not. In the situation where I was contacted I went on living in a world without them; once my barriers were up there was no comming back. Though that idea seemed valid at the time, my argument being: if I am not in a healthy relationship then I should not be in that relationship, it is never ok to leave without addressing the issue. A relationship needs to be valued, so despite one's mistakes the other has to point it out and attempt to address the issue. If the issue is left without being addressed and handled, addressed and worked on, or addressed and evaluated as "this is not working anymore", both are at fault of neglect. I arrived at this conclusion only after I found my defense mechanism to be working against me.
My defense mechanism came to the point where it defeated the whole purpose of me installing it upon myself, being that it did not fix anything and only left me with a greater pain. This new pain grew from me losing the people I loved and/or cared about, and from me becoming the bad guy in the scenario. On top of this, I was losing out on the opportunity to fix everything because while I thought I was in control of myself, in reality I was not in control of anything. Yes, I was attempting to cut the damage short, but I was not gaining anything. Rather, I was hurting myself by training myself to become the person I had never wanted to have in my own life, someone who could not be depended on to stick around when things got rough, someone who walked out on someone when they were most in need, someone who could no longer have a conversation but only confrontations. Walking away is not a solution when it comes to relationships. You can't just throw it out as if it meant nothing all along. In the end, with this mindset you are only lying to yourself. In a state where you are losing those around you, you do not want to get to the point where you lose yourself as well.
If you were ever to find yourself in a situation where your relationship is drifting, just know you deserve to know your worth. The value you put into your relationship is how much you deserve to know why you are being treated the way you are. Though you think you know the person, you never know their thought process. Sometimes the failing relationship is their fault, but sometimes there is more to it. There could be multiple explanations other than they decided to stop caring; it may not always be the case that they intended, or even noticed, their new behavior. Then again, their new behavior may have stemmed as a reaction to your actions towards them. Whatever the case may be, you never want to put yourself in the position where pure ignorance puts an end to a 8 year friendship, a first love, or to that new friendship with someone who taught you to love again. I lost out on years of having a friend because they did not realize the pain they were putting me in. While I thought I was going ignored he was undergoing issues he could not handle or express. While he was overwhelmed in a mess of drugs, debt, and a father's betrayal, I pulled away not knowing that he did not want to jeopardize our relationship. He let me go thinking that that was what I wanted. I looked back everyday for more than 2 years until the day he reached out to ask what had gone wrong. When I told him I felt that I had been losing him he told me he had never wanted to lose me. Over the time period where I had lost him I had told people that the split had been mutual, now I realize I was the one who had walked away.
It may not be that the other person in the relationship is struggling in their lives, maybe their feelings towards you have changed, or maybe they were completely oblivious to the fact that they were not making an effort; whatever the reason, you need an answer. I turned into someone who made it too easy to let go, though I let it kill me inside. A few months ago that 8 year friendship was rekindled, though not as strong as it had been years past. Today my first love came back as a friend. Now I have to attempt to save the relationship with my new friend/ bearer or love. Either he will walk with me or without me. I may walk alone, but I will train myself not to walk out when I feel the urge to run.